I have been having a really hard time with the fact that I can’t get in state tuition. It is also just hitting me that I am poor. I have lost sight of all the reasons and convictions I had for moving into the house I live in and only working part time. Which is a terrible place to be in because now all I can think of is how stinkin’ poor I am and how am I going to pay for school. I really want to go. I don’t want to teach…lots of people keep telling me, well you could get a public school teaching job. Well I could, but I don’t like the system. I’d rather work outside the system and change it by being aware of what is going on in the districts and being an advocate for children and education. I would rather change children’s lives by helping them meet their basic needs so that they can be successful in school. I have seen too many kids with too much baggage that gets ignored so they can pass a standardized test. Children are not standardized everyone is individual, you can’t teach to a test and expect a child to be excited about learning. So I really want to go back to school so that I can help in that capacity.
My new life plan is to move to England on a British Pass Port and work for a few months so I don’t feel like I wasted a year of adventuring or perusing some way to better myself by having an interesting life experience. Not that I couldn’t do that working and living here. I really do like it here. I love my friends and my job and I am sure having work two jobs would build some sort of character. Everything just seems very uncertain right now, and this time there are no exciting options or options that seem concrete. Last time life was so uncertain I could choose anything and not go wrong, I don’t have that this time.
I have passed up the time and opportunity to live in England once before and if there is one thing I regret in life it is passing that opportunity up. If I lived there I could still be paying Va. state taxes and I could just treat England as holiday of sorts. Except that I would be working. The only problem I can see is I would want to go on my British citizenship which may screw with tuition again. Unless I still write down that my permanent address is here, which it will be. I don’t know, there has to be some loop hole, preferably a legal one.
